'Tis the first thing that will send me to the sea.

Some beautiful music whilst I psyche myself up for this next blog:

These dreams like trees are dark and twisting

http://christinecooper.bandcamp.com/album/these-dreams-like-trees-are-dark-and-twisting

Spinning

It used to make me feel like I was going quite mad.

The Plan

I think they're plotting something.
They may or may not be trying to take over the universe.
Bear with me, I'll elaborate.

Every morning, I put a piece of fruit and something to drink and a cereal bar into a little lunch box and into their backpacks. Today was like every morning, except when I went to retrieve F's bag from its hook, it was surprisingly heavy, for an empty lunchbox. They don't need anything in school when they're 7 or 9- no books no nothing, just a snack. The bag just makes them feel ever so slightly cool.

Anyway, i found a small surprise inside her backpack:

I asked her briefly about the contents of her backpack as she brushed her teeth. She smirked at me. I didn't even know 7 year olds could smirk.
Here we have:
A slingshot, which only just fitted in her bag.
An opera CD of Pinocchio
Some binoculars
A massive calculator
A roll of sellotape
A key
A plastic, golden trophy
A keyring with a bat on it (that J decided he'd steal as he waled out the door to school)
A small wooden box that looks like a baby's toy, when actually it has two holes and a small mirror inside so that you can see around corners.
Two ravaged tennis balls.

They have a plan.
It's scaring me.

Music is good for the soul.

Well...

Today's another day, I suppose, but tying the dog up in a blanket is still not cool, guys. Not cool at all. Maybe a tiny bit funny, but poor Guusjie was crying and wailing for ages until you let me leave the bathroom and wipe all the bubbles off my face. Poor, poor little creature.

What the hell?

What happened?
Are you possessed today?


No, I don't care if you don't want to wear your knickers. You WILL WEAR THEM TO SCHOOL.
No. I don't care if your other au pair let you watch tv all the time. Your mum does NOT like when you watch tv in the mornings you will NOT watch tv and eat. especially seeing as you tipped ICE CREAM ALL OVER THE SOFA LAST NIGHT.
No. I do NOT care that you apologized badly to your sister, you didn't mean it. You do NOT belt her. Even if she did make a stupid face at you.


What the hell are you doing up a TREE?? WHY THE HELL would you ask your little sister to SAW a piece of wood for you? Why the hell are you SAWING WOOD FOR HIM. With a SAW! You just turned SEVEN!
No I DO NOT believe you when you tell me your mum is fine with this. I DO NOT.

The sea makes everything better.

Last weekend I made a two hour train trip to Den Haag to see some friends when it should have only taken an hour. We drank wine. And lots of beer. And then we couldn't ride our bikes anymore and we laughed and we laughed at the stupidity of it all because it was raining so hard and the sane people were indoors and then we howled to the moon. (Even though we couldn't see it)

Then we woke up, drowsy, hungry, ill. So I said let's go to the sea and and so we cycled to the beach and stood barefoot in the sea. We drank the wind and it ate away all the yuck we felt refreshed. Clean, pure and barefoot, we drank tea in hut on the beach.

Then I came back and worked and it was hugely miserable until my OWN violin arrived in the post! Along with a small selection of books and little things from around my room that my mama could find. I love her. I miss her.
And then F decided she wanted to learn how to play the piano which was actually quite successful- more successful than the violin, lets just say- and she can actually play a C major scale with the right fingers! And she sometimes growls at the same time!
Although it does get slightly tedious when she plays it over and over and over and over.
I'll have to think about something else to teach her.
All suggestions welcome!

Last Thursday I met with all the other au pairs in the area. We drank beer and laughed at eachothers shame. None of us speak dutch, none of us meant to come here, we are all home sick. So we stick together.
Especially on Wednesday mornings when breakfast in the HEMA supermarket is 1euro before 10am.

I met a really cool Irish au pair called Nina at a breakfast. We decided we were both from the UK so we need to be best friends. It's entirely very convenient that we have huge amounts in common and we'd have been friends anyway. we wandered around Amsterdam that day, lost and carefree. Remarking how goddamn WEIRD everything is.

Then I stayed on the train to Hilversum when she got off in Naarden, where our bikes were. I went to an SGI Holland meeting... It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever done. They were radiant souls and so so warm and open to me- we chanted and  discussed hardships and their relationships to us! It was magic and then we hugged and went home and i'll write more later because Nina is upset and I'm running to albertheijn to get some ben and jerry hugs.
Peace!