Night terrors.

All of these night terrors in all of these books are leaking and tip tapping on my head and creeping. They tip tap and scuttle and bang like a drum in my head! Sometimes they tick like a clock. But mostly they rattle their spines and pages and scream their story out. They all have a story to tell
But I wish they wouldn't,
not tonight.

I hate to sleep alone.

Kittens and Sunshine and Singing for the sea

I'm sitting in my love's back garden with two kittens feeling the cool grass under their paws and the sun on their fur for the very first time! They have their leads on and wide eyes as they chase bugs and potter in the sun! They come back for hugs every few minutes, after all this is scary business. It's all very exciting but they still need their hugs... It's very endearing, this. Looking after baby cats!

Last night they played music to the sea and we danced under the streetlamps. I didn't play because I'm giving my violin and fingers a nap after all their hard work for my Grade 8. The sea wind caught Ceri's harp and it sang and sang! I think the sea hums in Eb. We closed our eyes and pressed our ears agains the humming body of the harp, grinning.

It was beautiful and we ran to the sea and shrieked and danced and danced... Then we ate crumpets and drank ginger beer. I love it here.

The night before we walked so high we could see the sea. And the crunching twigs in the half light, the stream sparkles. The bats singing and the smell of forests at night.

Later we go back down South together to where I live to see my Grandma.. and even she's from cuckoo-clock land, where the hills are alps and snowy and nests and all at the same time. She's just come to visit. I have missed her...

But I do love it here. And the Sea.

And I never had to see them again...

Well, this is me. In a nest of hills in Wales, currently- it's raining, of course.
It's not a shame, but today has been hard.
You see.. I've decided to start a blog (obviously) about what it's like to leave the nest and valleys and mountain tops and find myself in the flattest country in Europe: The Netherlands.

Right now, I don't know what to think. Except I think I'm pining for the dreams I used to have about leaving and independance and soaring over this horrible country that tied me down with strings and forcefed me (godforbid) education! But now all those strings have been cut and I am marginally more wise than when those dreams were concieved, and I'm not sure this nest is as uncomfortable as I thought it was. It was a lot easier when I was bitter. My flight's on the 31st of August.

It seems like a long way away..

The only strings that tie me now are heart strings and they will always stay. Which is so so much harder than the superimposed ties..
I am so so in love with such a wonderful, beautiful man. He breaks my heart. Our relationship is such a magic fusion of intense and sometimes crazy kind gentleness and music! We fit. I love him with ALL of my heart

And even when the strings of education are cut, you're left with their shadows and heart strings with the people you shared your life with for seven years. Too many tears shed by beautiful people that were once teachers, but are now friends, and very good ones indeed...

So here I am. Regretting I didn't wake up sooner, regretting digging my heels in as much as I did, regretting that it took until now to love what I do.